The Vow

I promise to hold you
On the darkest nights
I promise to be faithful
As well as true

I’ll give you all of me
I’ll laugh at your jokes
Even when they aren’t funny
And always buy you 2 cokes

I’ll wipe your tears away
Be your biggest cheerleader
I’m not going anywhere
In your heart, I’ll always stay

I know we’ll have tough times
But you’re my best friend
This is just beginning
Of a journey that won’t end

Every day I look at you
Your beauty makes me go “wow”
I never stopped loving you
From the first moment to now

Eulogy

I’m sorry
Honestly I’ve tried
Don’t know what happened
Everything in me died

Can’t tell you when
Or even where
But would you listen?
Or even try to care?

Truth be told, I been dead
Loneliness and lies killed me
I just completed the mission
What’s the reward I’ll see?

You’ll cry now but not then
When I was breathing
You overlooked everything
Now all that’s left is my poem

You’ll attend my funeral
Pretend that you knew me
But you didn’t really
Even after I exposed all to see

Six feet deep
Not just my emotions
Everything all black
I finally can go to sleep

Confession 3

I know, another one?

How many more can I tell?

This isn’t fun for me either

I’m breaking out of my shell

I feel down a lot

I promise it’s true

Covering feelings in green

Even though I’m blue

I just wanna be noticed

Maybe even wanted

The ghosts of my past visiting

I’m feeling haunted

I try to be the best

Especially at work

Maybe I’ll achieve some status

Then I can rest

Always feeling like the worst

Even without cause

I feel like I’m stuck

Always on pause

Will I die great or mediocre?

Only time will tell

Maybe I’ll have better luck

If my life was a game of poker

Confessions 2

It’s me again

Back with more

Too many secrets

That I can’t ignore

You remember confession one?

No? It’s ok

Let me rewind

So you can get a replay

I mess up good things

But not on purpose

They affect me deep down

And even on the surface

Relationships I can’t get right

Maybe I’m toxic

Over and over, it’s like a cycle

With no end in sight

One year, two years

It doesn’t matter

My insecurities eating

They’re just getting fatter

My mind is full of thoughts

No room for anything else

Positive thoughts are like old toys

They just collect dust on a shelf

Maybe something else is wrong

And I just can’t see

Sometimes I wish I didn’t feel

Like my mother abandoned me

Confession

Time for confession

But I’m no priest

I’ve been fighting my demons

Only suffering defeat

They’ve been in my mind

Taking up space

I’ve been running

But I can’t pick up the pace

Confession 1

I mess up good things

I don’t try to on purpose

The thoughts insecurity brings

Confession 2

I feel down a lot

My favorite color is blue

But I try to cover it in green

Confession 3

I overthink

Imaginary scenarios I’ll see

And stress causes me to drink

Should I lay my sin on the altar?

Maybe an exorcism?

Grab the Holy water

I need to be immersed, baptism

8:46

Could it really be?
When they look at me
They see an enemy
While neglecting the inner me?

What do they see?
Is it my ancestry?
Let me give some clarity
My ancestors hung from a tree

Executed by a mob feeling angry
Innocent yet got a death penalty
Prisoner of death yet set free
No, not Jesus from Christianity

Do I lack humanity?
Do I threaten their comfortability?
Is my melanin expensive?
That death & oppression are the fee

I can’t breathe
Suffocated by the weight of sin
Not because I’m a criminal
But by the color of my skin

Could it really be?
When they look at me
They see an enemy
While neglecting the inner me?

Prodigal

It’s been a while
Confused on what to say
Broken words are uttered
I think I’ve lost my way

You said you’d always love me
I keep asking is it true?
Even after all my mistakes
I should come back to you

But would you accept me?
Or dismiss me like a court case?
I feel bound by my past
All I wanted to be was free

Maybe you forsook me
Like the many that came before
I’m lost like the Prodigal Son
And I’m knocking on your door

Last Time

We haven’t talked in a while

I haven’t gone senile

It’s just I’ve been busy

Spinning in circles, getting dizzy

I know what you’re saying

If I talk to you more, I’d be straight

But it’s so much on my plate

If this is a game, I’m not playing

Can I just be honest?

I can’t remember

The last convo we had

Is my connection really that bad?

I don’t remember

When I read your words last

Or even thanked you

For the present and the past

I don’t remember

The last time I went to your house

Or even seeked your face

No rush, I’m going at your pace

The Well

Everybody comes, friend or foe

Bringing their empty cup

Longing for what I have

Desperate to fill them up

They only care about their need

But I’m supposed to play a role

To give them what they lack

So to their buckets, I heed

Nobody ever wonders

“What about you?”

Some try but they hear an echo

Others get a surface answer

To be honest, it’s hard

They only see me for what i give

A well full of water

But who fills me up?

When I run dry, who supplies

The water that they need?

I’ll just wait for the rain

Of disappointment and greed

When I’m empty, they’re mad

Maybe I’m in a drought too

But nobody really cares

Because giving water is all I do

No more

I don’t wanna create

The energy has left

I feel like dam

Ready to break

What can I say?

That hasn’t already been said

I’m ready to retire my pen

And lay in my bed

Does any of this matter?

Do I even care?

I’d rather cover my soul

Then to lay it bare

Healing comes after the pain

Sunshine after the rain

Washing after the stain

Medicine after being insane

No more I’m tired

I’m sorry I tried

Maybe it’s pride

Or all the tears I cried

Is there a point?

I don’t know

Myself I’ll disappoint

And let the tears flow