Virtual Reality

I remember the first time I got caught in your web like prey to a spider

It was like you filled the hole in my heart but also made it wider

I was introduced to you at a young age and a depressing time

I spent time with you since you eased the pressure on my mind

Little did I know that you only gave me false hope

You kept letting me down the cliff until I ran out of rope

I fell so far and there was nothing to protect me

All I could do is let the impact crush everything in me

I don’t know why I trusted you but I remember the first visit

Every chance you got to “help” me, you took it and never missed it

But then I realized you never believed in me or who I could be

Because you were trapped in a screen and it was only virtual reality

©2018 Henry McLean Jr

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

BEHIND THE POEM

I remember the role of porn in my life. Growing up in a Christian household, it wasn’t really talked about. My relationship with porn started at 18, and it comforted me in a time of chaos especially emotionally. Everytime I felt rejected or alone, porn would be there to say “I’m here, it’s ok” and I believed it and kept it a secret because all I would receive is judgement and scripture instead of understanding and love. For me, it was never about whether it’s right or wrong but rather it was about having something to help me escape the reality I was experiencing. Later, I realized that it was only a fantasy pleasant for the moment. It only temporarily satisfied me and it never filled the void in my heart. Honestly, many of us are like that: believing in fantasies to ease our realities but in the end, we’re left worse than before.